A farmer, some crops, some weeds and me.

So, I’m just about to get hit by my exams and I wanted to write something before they kick in. It’s hard to concentrate when your heart isn’t in something and your mind is astray with thoughts of other (better?) things. This is what I’m thinking as I take a break before I even begin revision, revision I planned to start a few hours ago.

Basically a few months back I was really confused, frustrated and quite frankly a little pissed off at Jesus. I didn’t, and in many many ways still don’t, get how a world loved by Jesus would be so messy. My question was ‘well why the hell didn’t Jesus just sort everything out 2000 years ago? Or before that? Why not make it all alright? Why play the games? Why be cryptic? Why not put the world to rights? Where’s the justice? Where’s the love? Why not just make everything all better and perfect once and for all?!’

I still hold these questions, and I in no way think I can answer them.

I also struggle with the fact that I want to do stuff, I want to make the world a better place, get rid of everything bad and put it all back together again.

There is this parable, which Jesus tells, where a farmer sows some seeds in a field, but it ends up growing alongside weeds. The farmers servants are like ‘lets go and rip up all the weeds, cos it’ll help with the harvest’. But the farmer says ‘No, if you go and rip up all the weeds you’ll pull up the crop as well, leaving us with an even smaller harvest’.

I find this parable a little hard. Cos up rooting the weeds can’t be wholly a bad thing, and I’m sure it isn’t. But I think Jesus’ point is that I’m no supposed to rid the world of evil, but I am supposed to increase the good in the world.

My role isn’t to go and up root everything bad, condemning and rebuking people, as it’ll probably cause more problems than anything. But my role is to be of some use, grow what is good in myself, the world, and in others. Make sure I’m part of the crop, not one of the weeds.

I think if my attitude is to love, to be and to nurture good in myself and others, to be part of the fruit of the harvest, then slowly I will rid the world of evil. But if I try and tear every part of myself, and others, which is evil away, I’ll simply end up reducing myself to something tired and worthless.